First time we met?
I was just curious. I didn’t care. I made on purpose to be effortless. Oversized grey T shirt. The unperfect jeans. Grey flowered earring. With a tiny diamond in the middle. I have those earrings in 3 colors. I did put some mascara on. Messy hair as usual. My perfume was Daisy Fresh, by Marc Jacob. I like this edition in the summer. I didn’t pay attention to where I put the perfume. I just sprayed it on my clothes. The weather was starting to be warmer as may was about to get there. I had a white tank top under my t-shirt. Not the kind of tank top that make you look like an effortless beauty goddess. The kind that you keep only to wear under your clothes. The problem when you go over confident, is that you don’t expect these things to happen. I remember walking the 9 minutes walks at the speed of light and slowing down at the end, so that if you see me, you don’t think I was excited to meet. I also had shit cardio. I was already trying to find excuses to leave. My parking is about to expire was the first one I would say.
I Entered the place with all my bags. I remember feeling something stranger behind me. I turned around to a human masterpiece. With the deepest eyes and the most perfect smile I had been given to see in a while. A very soft but none arrogant confidence. Confidence way more honest than mine.
‘’Shit- fuck. Damn. Caliss.’’, I thought.
My look, I regretted. My phoney excuses, I forgot. I removed my oversized grey shirt. It was the first time I finished work before the sun goes down. I felt the warmth on my shoulders and I forgot everything else that was not related to the way it shined. That, and the way the perfect smile was appearing in between two words.
‘’Yes, I have time for coffee.’’
The first time we met? I had a vibrant blue dress. Strapless dress with flowers on the waist. My hair was so fluffy, I didn’t know what to do with it. I had a pair of golden earrings in shape of drops. There used to be a fake diamond in the middle of both but one fell so I removed the other one. I remember I had a hard week and made it quick to get there. It was beginning of June and It was very hot outside. I texted my sister if my dress was too much to just, go to a friend’s house. She said no, she knew what the dress looked like. So, I put the original Daisy by Marc Jacob on me. A spray behind my ears. A spray on my wrists. My friend had given me what was left of her bottle. We had the same perfume. And I had no money to buy any. I was then not very comfortable with makeup. I was in a weird phase where I needed to find myself. I barely had mascara on. And a little of blush I regretted as soon as I closed the door behind me. I was a little nervous, because the situation was awkward. I had little confidence at the time. But I always loved to feel my heart race in front of the unknown. Like an adrenaline rush that I both love and hate. I had lived changes in my life just few months ago.
I was removing my shoes on the entrance carpet. Black faux leather flip-flops they were. I had no idea there was another person in the place. The couch was against the wall of the living room, right next to the short hallway that brings the people from the entrance to the living room, passing by the kitchen. With a very uninterested face he got up, shook my hand, said in an uninterested voice:
‘’Hi-I don’t speak French.’’
I thought; ‘’Fuck French- you have the bluest eyes.’’
But in reality, I said: ‘’Hi- It is ok. ‘’
It was the kind of eyes that makes a girl want to text her best friend to giggle like some 16 years old teen. But I thought it could be a reflection from his blue shirt, so I texted no one. What I liked about his bored uninterested face, was how, when something was funny, its whole structure was changing and suddenly, his whole face was a burst of light. Every time it was a pleasant surprise to look at and when it happens, you have no other choices than to smile too. But I was not there for these reasons. So, I sat on the other couch. And looked away.
Leather couches are not great in heat seasons.
The first time we met?
It was the evening. A little earlier I texted my friend 2 sets of outfits. She told me the Greyish dress with the black leggings and the grey woolen vest was the better one. So, this is what I wore. I like to shop alone and be independent, but when it is about anything related to relations or acting normal, I suck at it. I took time to shower, shave, exfoliate, moisturise. I was a lot more confident with myself and at ease with my beauty skills. I had a light foundation and blush on my face, eyeliner and mascara. I curled my hair with an iron. Hoped for it to stay that way all night. I had grey pearled earrings. It was dark outside and I had a coat on. I was walking my dog. I did not speak English in a while but I was not that nervous. I am always less nervous when I have no expectations. I saw him walking towards me, he was tall. He had only a red T-shirt on. He didn’t know that in Quebec, the weather is very unstable, especially in autumn. I scanned him from head to toes. From his blue eyes to his cheeky smile all the way down to his converse shoes. He said something in an accent I had never heard before. I had never met anyone from that part of the UK before.
‘’Oh my god, this is horrible, I don’t understand. Or maybe it is fun. I don’t know – Hi’’, were my first words.
‘’Fucking UK boys’’ I truly thought.
The first time we met? I probably had a weird feeling about you. I probably knew a while before we met, that someone like you would show up into my life. I mean as someone who would impact my way to see the world, and the way I think. It happens with my friendships as well. When I frown the first time I meet someone, it either means that I already know the person in an unexplainable way, or that the person will impact me one day. With a sentence, or an action. Or a deeper connection. Maybe you just had a thing I had never experienced before, that will inspire one of my future writing.
And I probably remember some random details about that moment. Like the way I was dressed. How I got ready before I left my house. The first words I said. The first thing I thought. Maybe the song I heard on my way to the place we first saw each other. It is very possible that I went to very open to super cold a couple of times. Because I am so super scared to open myself.
I don’t know how to explain it. And I don’t want to explain it. I don’t have to.
It is my secret sides of my stories. (And this text is getting no where. I just need to spit words.)