Excerpt 14/ Extrait 14

Surrender would mean

To  let your light sink in

To open up to you

Breath your affection in

To swallow your energy

Through every single kisses you place on me

 

I could smile back

Messy hair on the pillow.

Sunbeam through the window

My dog sneaking between us

Your eyes singing your thoughts.

 

I have troubles.

I have a volcano in me.

A fire they chocked.

They watered it down.

For burning too strong.

For burning differently.

But If you don’t judge, I wont either.

And if you don’t care. I won’t hold my breath.

 

I’m a loner.

Kind of by choice.

I can dance barefoot.

Run my finger through my hair

Wave my hips and follow the moonlight’s slow-motion

I can speak to random strangers.

I can love them.

I can partake passionate waves of words with them

Because I can trust one thing.

 They won’t really stay.

They are not real life.

If they try to be.

I can become ice.

 

I want to be a fire again.

I want to hold my cup with both hands

Knowing your smile warmed the rest of my being

Believe me I am aware the world is tiny.

And some things are bigger than you and me

 

I can be grounded.

Rationnal. Organised.

Crawl on the ground.

Fight in the mud.

Fight to stand up.

 

I do have some problems, like anyone else.

I have a volcano in me.

A fire they chocked.

They watered it down.

They fought authenticity

To put themselves on pedestals

And fuck – they were on the way to win.

But not on me. Not ever.

 

Pain doesn’t scare me.

Peace did.

Mochaccinos on a rainy Friday does.

Sunny late morning in bed does.

Back to the start feeling does.

But If you don’t judge, I won’t either.

And if you can’t handle. I can’t do anything about it.

 

I get angry. I cry. I shake.

I choke on my own emotions.

I laugh a lot. I look at lights.

Like they were made by fairies.

I drink beer. And worship green smoothies.

I eat junk. And drink dandelions.

I hike mountains with high heels.

I love widely. Fiercly. Truly.

I have an intense love for feelings.

Because it is not something you plan

Or rationnalised. You just deal with it.

 

I have a Volcano in me.

If you don’t judge me.

I won’t judge either.

If you don’t water it down.

It won’t explode.

It will slowly keep the fire burning.

So I can finally fearlessly

Open up and surrender.

To you, but to me.

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